Chastity is one of the most misunderstood words of our time. The secular understanding of it has some dark connotations, while in the Church, people often use that word to imply simply not having sex. The Catholic understanding of chastity, however is far more rich than a mere directive regarding behavior. Rather, it is far more about the state of one’s heart (and mind), and when understood properly and or when embraced thoroughly, it can transform a person’s life in radical ways! Some fundamental aspects of chastity, as it is understood by the Catholic Church, are described below.

A Beautiful Proposal
Chastity, as properly understood by the Church, is a virtue that is proposed (not imposed) for all people of all ages, regardless of state in life. It is a daughter virtue of the Cardinal virtue of temperance and since the Cardinal virtues are considered moral virtues, so too is chastity considered a moral virtue, which means mastery within that virtue requires the human effort (CCC 1803) as opposed to being merely divinely infused. Likewise, chastity involves joyful (not resentful) openness to “successful integration of sexuality within the person” (CCC 2337), implying an openness to honoring/upholding the God-authored physiological complementarity of males and females, and the fact that we are created as males or females (regardless of any genetic aberration). The Church proposes these things for all people, and it is each person who chooses to accept or reject this proposal.

Chastity is not celibacy or abstinence!
In fact, a person can be chaste but neither abstinent or celibate, abstinent but not chaste or celibate, or celibate but not chaste or abstinent! Confusing? Well, if people depart from the definitions given by the Church, then of course this would be confusing! This is why, however, we need to be careful to walk alongside those who do make those distinctions. In fact, a person can be chaste but not abstinent or celibate, abstinent but not chaste or celibate, or even celibate but not chaste or abstinence. Clearly, it is very important for us to properly understand these terms, especially through the lens of the Church!

Some Basic Foundations
The three following points can help provide a basic foundation to build upon:
1. Chastity is about virtue – the state of our heart, and the degree to which we joyfully surrender to God’s design of humanity.
2. Abstinence is about behavior (or the lack thereof).
3. Celibacy is about one’s state in life. If a person is unmarried, they are in a celibate state of life. Indeed, to live a holy celibate state, it would take the discipline to abstain from sexual activity, and the desire for chastity to undergo that discipline with the hope of joyfully preparing for one’s future spouse.

As For Those Walking With Us…
Those who wish to confuse those three words will never be able to give guidance within which the Church’s proposal/message is not impaired. They will not be able to joyfully share the richness of what chastity can offer because they will not have begun to conscientiously enter into the pursuit of that virtue. As for those who have, and who are striving to use language that reflects the beauty and richness of the Church (which will blow open anyone’s imaginations), they will be more effective in their accompaniment of us within the pursuit of:
– holy and chaste relationships with oneself and others
– holy and chaste boundaries
– holy and chaste friendships
– holy and chaste pursuits geared towards maximal integration and service to the Lord during the single state
– holy and chaste opposite-sex romantic interests
– holy and chaste opposite-sex courting/dating
– holy and chaste opposite-sex relational commitments
– holy and chaste opposite-sex marriage
… alongside all other aspects of personal development (and perhaps, healing after traumas).

Why Settle For Less?
The alternative is to believe that for people with an LGBTQ+ experience, their best option is to merely remain celibate (single) while serving the Church. Indeed, doing so could be very good, but if done without awareness of one’s capacity to fulfill their dreams of being a husband/father or wife/mother, then it is a far cry from giving people a fair shake to explore their true potential. Never forget that if people are open to God, there is no stopping what God can do, or what people can do when they cooperate with His outpouring of graces!

For more information about the beautiful virtue of chastity, as it is understood by the Church, begin by visiting Chastity Project at www.chastity.com. At this site, there are many more resources that will help reveal the beauty of that virtue.

 

Meet Our Team

….

60+

Articles Published

The Something More Beautiful team has have over 60 articles published by orthodox Catholic organizations including Ascension Press, Chastity Project, National Catholic Register, LifeTeen, Catholic Digest, and many others.

13

Books

The Something More Beautiful team has been involved in the production of 13 books, including books by Christopher West, Jason Evert, Prof. Janet E. Smith, among others.

20+

Years of Experience

The Something More Beautiful team has a combined 20+ years of speaking/presenting experience on the LGBTQ+ topic and other Pro-Life issues.

Navigating the Minefield

Whoever thought that sharing experiences could be such a dangerous thing to do! Well, that’s the world we live in. All the more reason for courage, right? RIGHT. And remember, a hero for the faith only dies once, but someone who lives in fear dies a little bit each day. That being said, here are some of the key things to know as you courageously walk this journey yourself, and or with others.

01 Virtue & Sin

CCC 1700, 1803-29, 1846-76, 1706-1802

The world often uses the word virtue to indicate bravery, but not all acts of bravery are virtuous. Virtue begets virtue, and while one cannot judge the state of another’s heart, it is possible for us to judge actions which indicate a closedness to growing in the fullness of virtue. Furthermore, Catholic-looking behavior may not lead to a virtuous heart, but a virtuous heart will lead to Catholic-looking behavior. Also worthy of note is that to gain an understanding of what might or might not be virtuous overall, it is also helpful to understand the Church’s teachings on sin, for anything that is authentically virtuous cannot also point people to sin or the near occasion of sin.

02 Chastity

CCC 2337-2359

Where there is authentic chastity, there is joy. Where there is resentment, chastity is not. Likewise, chastity does not equal either abstinence or celibacy, and we must be cautious whenever we see those terms used interchangeably. Rather, it is a proposal (not an imposition) for us to joyfully strive to uphold the created (not invented) truths that God has written into the human body, specifically pertaining to sexuality. It is a daughter virtue of the moral virtue of temperance, and so, chastity, like temperance, is not infused but rather must be striven for. Note that we must also be cautious where chastity is being promoted as being “good for some but not others,” for that would indicate one’s inability to comprehend the Church’s understanding of that concept, revealing an imagination that requires much more formation (placing them in no position to be teaching anything about sexuality overall).

03 Authority

CCC 787-796
Why believe the Church anyway? Don’t Church teachings change over time? If the Church changes her teachings, how could the Church be an authority? Well, teachings on pastoral approaches change as humanity further understands the infinite mercy of God. However, those are not the same as teachings pertaining to the truths that God has authored into visible/invisible creation. When there are “changes” to the latter, it is in the form of a teaching becoming more precise. Unfortunately, many people see changes to pastoral approaches as a grounds to believe that the Church’s teachings on that which has been authored into nature will also eventually change, and this can lead many people to depart from the idea that they ought to be faithful to Catholic teaching as it is presented, and or the idea that the Church should be seen as a moral authority to begin with.

04 Church

CCC 781-810
Many times when people attack the Church, they are doing so because of their disappointment with the people of the Church and or the handling of things within Church-run institutions. This is not to undermine the validity of one’s concern about the tragic things that have occurred under the banner of religion, but rather to highlight that there are at least five meanings of Church that every Catholic should be aware of: The church as in the people, the church as in the building, the Church as in the institutions on earth run by man, the Church as the community of holy angels and saints, and the Church as the True, Spotless Bride of Christ.

05 Grace

CCC 1987-2029
It is the grace of God that breaks open the hardened heart. Our duty then ought to be doing all we can do to bring about the showering of God’s graces upon the whole of humanity. In that, we will begin to trust God more and more with regard to the distribution of those graces, so that we do not gain some poisonous sense of entitlement with respect to our efforts. God hears the cries of all hearts, but he tests us all in ways befitting of our own preparation for Heaven. That being said, if we are not leading all of our actions in prayer and surrender to Christ, then our efforts will be less efficacious than what they otherwise would be, and we place ourselves at risk of being less joyful in our mission by having our (unfounded) expectations unmet. The lack of interior joy, even in bad times, will speak loudly to others in ways that will not be attractive to them.

06 Our Role

CCC 27-35, 2290
If we take on more than what we ought to take on, we may burn out. While the “search for God demands of man every effort of intellect…” (CCC 30), we must remember to “participate in Being itself” (CCC 34), while not allowing ourselves to fall into any type of excess (CCC 2290) that might draw us away from our obligations according to our state in life. That is to say, amidst it all, we must strive to be present to the moment, and the person(s) with us in that moment. Indeed, all we have is now and the hour of our death, so make every moment count: love others as best as you are able to love – and that may include standing for principles that will undoubtedly be challenged… but never forget Christ, your reason for joy.

Our Amazing Team

We have the lived LGBTQ+ experience and have chosen to surrender ourselves to the infinite love of God and beauty of His truths as upheld within the teachings of the Catholic Church. We have chosen to move beyond our prior-held LGBTQ+ mindsets, and associated senses of identity and self-concept, while still acknowledging the existence of the attractions that may still persist in our lives. We have come to taste a greater peace, hope, joy, love, and freedom through striving to grow in the fullness of virtue (as understood by the Church), and this has brought about radical transformation in overall desire, opening our hearts and imaginations to the potential of holy marriage, and “life after LGBTQ+.”

While we respect that everyone is at a unique stage within their journey, we still hope to joyfully share our experiences with the hope that others, especially those who might feel trapped, lost, despairing, or hopeless within their LGBTQ+ mindset, might know that the next chapter of their lives has yet to be written, and that they are not automatically excluded from the possibility of a future that might includes holy marriage. It IS possible, and we understand the magnitude of such a shift in mindset, so we invite people to be patient with themselves, but to be open. There is hope in the Church, and it begins with the pursuit of chastity. We simply hope to inspire people into a journey of further discovery, so people can come to discover that hope for themselves.

Support

Co-Founder & Executive Director

Hudson Byblow

Hudson began to experience both same-sex attractions and transgender inclinations (as they might be described today) from an early age. At the words of a LGBTQ+ activist who told him, “environment plays a factor in the development of one’s attraction,” he knew he had to dig deeper. That digging unearthed a myriad or relational wounds impacting his ability to trust in addition to helping him re-visit moments of his life that were traumatic to him at the time while young. Through a personal encounter with Jesus Christ, aided by the witness of something more beautiful radiating from the hearts of other Catholic men and women, he know that there had to be more than simply “being Gay/Trans and Catholic.” The more her pursued truth about his experiences, the more he realized that he needed to be honest with himself about them, but also about the reality that they need not define him forever. As such, Hudson walked away from his prior-held LGBTQ+ mindset and has never looked back. Today, he moves forward with newfound hope, knowing that the potential for holy vocation is still on the table. Meaning, he knows that his mere experiences do not automatically exclude him from marriage to a person of the opposite-sex, or marriage to the Church. Currently, he is discerning, with the help of the Church, which direction he should take. He does so, however, knowing that God is calling him to fatherliness, regardless of outcome, and that it is his duty to respond to the Church’s proposal to strive to grow in the fullness of virtue, but he wants the world to know that it is a duty of joy – a far cry from the despair he used to be within back in the day when he believed the lie that he was automatically excluded from ever becoming a husband and father. That is, today, Hudson has hope… and is moving forward.
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    • Co-Founder and Advisor

    Max B.

    Max lived a very active homosexual life for many years. He tried to find the joy that was promised to exist in pursuing such a life, but he never found it, knowing that he was called for something more. However, with the idea of him becoming a husband and father within a holy marriage being deprived from him within the subculture he was saturated within, he gradually lost his hope and resigned to the fact that “being gay and celibate” would be the best things could ever get. However, he was miserable, and eventually hit a rock bottom, which included, to some degree, suicidal ideation. Max discovered the work of the Something More Beautiful team, and has since found a new lease on life, knowing that what was before seen as an impossibility, is now possible. Today, he is working on striving to become the best version of himself, open to holy, chaste relationships, and today he experiences the joy of that pursuit, knowing that whether or not marriage actually does occur, his joy is rooted in surrendering to the Lord. This has led him to leave behind his former LGBTQ mindset and to courageously distance himself from LGBTQ+ culture, while still being open to walking with those who have not yet reached this point.
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    • Co-Founder and Coordinator

    Anna G.

    Anna’s story involves navigating same-sex attraction and a romantic same-sex relationship, believing she had a potential call to religious life, and eventually feeling called to marry her now husband. While knowing Christ and believing she had a call to religious life, Anna began navigating same-sex attraction and eventually ended up in a same-sex relationship. However, it was Anna’s deep devotion to the Eucharist that led her to commit to the Church’s teachings on sexuality and begin pursuing a heart of chastity. While temptations to return to a same-sex lifestyle emerged from time to time, her commitment to the Lord is what brought her to understand that she had sold herself short with regard to the possibilities of God within her life – specifically within her call to consecrated life or holy matrimony. As she continued to grow, she became more aware of romantic attractions to men and became open to the idea that God could be calling her to be a wife and mother. The Lord had placed an important Catholic man in her life along her journey, and over time, she came to love him and recognize that he might be the man she would marry. They eventually got married, and now walk to the Lord together as a couple joyfully striving for chastity together. She is grateful that the Lord opened her heart to the idea of potentially becoming a wife and mother. Today, while she recognizes that marriage is not the end goal (because Christ is the end goal), she hopes to bring the good news of God’s possibilities of holy, chaste marriage to all who are open to hear.
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